Fire!!

So tonight I reached a milestone in my life, I had my first official apartment fire. Now don't worry my apartment and I are just fine, although there is a Calphalon pan in my sink that has seen better days. However, any donations to my fire relief effort would be greatly appreciated. Having such an event teaches you a little bit about yourself. For instance I learned that all my years of playing with fire as a kid really payed off. Seeing a fire blazing in my kitchen didn't faze me at all. I just stood there trying to remember how to put out a grease fire.
Which leads me to some other lessons learned. Apparently if you put Canola Oil on the highest burner setting it will eventually start smoking and then will spontaneously combust and catch on fire. No spark even needed. I also learned that when I am heating oil on the stove I should pay attention to it instead of going back and forth to my computer. And then I learned that all those videos I had to watch in my fraternity about fire safety both payed off, and were sort of a let down. For instance let me tell you how disappointed I was that the fire did not spread or grow at all in 10 seconds like those videos promised. It just stayed in the pan like a good little fire, and even let me pick the pan up and carry it outside while it was on fire. Which, by the way, Im pretty sure the people who made those videos dont really condone. But they let me down when the time came to put out the fire. I remembered that you cant throw water on a grease fire (the one good thing from the videos), but I could only remember that sand was a good way to put one out. And let me tell you how much sand I keep around the house. So I thought something similar in consistency would be good, only to learn that coffee grinds are apparently flammable. And when you burn them they get real sticky and nasty. I must admit that wasn't one of my brighter moments. I also got the bright idea of trying Soy Milk, but was cautious about that one since I figured it was similar to water. Eventually I remembered that I had a fire extinguisher under my sink, and voila, no more fire. I don't know what's in those things but its magical. And let me tell you, that was a fantasy come true to actually have an excuse to use a fire extinguisher.
What an odd time we live in that while trying to figure out how to put out the fire, I actually consulted Ask Jeeves. So now I know that baking soda will do the trick if i once again forget I own a fire extinguisher. Now, however, I need to ask Jeeves if teflon is fire resistant ( I really like that pan). My apartment now smells like smoke despite a good airing out, and I dont think I'll be making fried okra anytime soon like I wanted. But lesson learned with the cooking oil. And now I know how to start a grease fire.
Remember, any donations to my fire relief fund can be placed in my box at the law school.

Core Fitness

Ah, now Spring Break is sadly over, and hopefully you were able to navigate the fetish pitfalls with my previous post as a guide. I was glad to get back so I could get back to the gym. Now I realize to many of you that may sound like an odd reason, but I have a thing for working out. Not to mention that I gained a little bit thanks to my parents cooking and my lack of a gym membership at home. And then there is the Metro phenomenon thats going on at Core. Now that's reason to get back if ever I heard of one.
Now I know many of you work out at the same gym as I do...Core Fitness. Many people would join for the yoga classes, or the tvs in front of all the treadmills, or maybe the spinning and aerobics classes, but for me its not the equipment, its the people who go there. Mainly the other guys who are going to be surrounding me while I lift weights. And at Core...well let's just say that I stare, alot. Core has what I like to call the Metro phenomenon. It seems to attract a large number of the metrosexuals in Iowa City. As frustrating as Metros are for the gay world, the ones at Core serve their purpose. They provide me with motivation to go to the gym, and with goals of what to look like sometimes. But so many of them flirt with that line between Metro and Homo (Ive heard stories). So many that I in fact have begun to wonder how many play for my team.
This isn't just me wishing either. I know many gay folk who go to Core too, and in fact gyms are generally a gay mecca. Well except in Iowa City where most of the boys are skinny little twinks (why wont they just eat something?). But I look around when I go and seriously question the other guys' sexuality. Especially this one who has spotted me a couple times (he offered, I promise) who wore Dolce and Gabbana tennis shoes a couple times to work out. I didnt even know D & G made tennis shoes. And there is one who works there who works out with this girl. And a guy working out with a girls often spells gay (they are too chatty to be dating). So I'm curious what some of you others think that go to Core. Especially the girls, cause they seem to be better than me at knowing who is gay. Could this wonderful place turn into a meat market for me? Well one can certainly hope.

Fetishes, like mother's milk

Spring Break is almost upon us and you know what that means. That college students everywhere will be going to places warm where you wear little clothing, drink lots, and take part in random sex acts. In my case I will be going home to Houston (not exotic, but still in the 70s) where I plan to go out a lot, celebrate my birthday, and make up for the lack of sex I have in Iowa. I've already got several guys lined up. Hmm, makes me feel like a prostitute...if only I was getting paid too. But in the interest of gratuitous sex, which I am a proponent of so long as its with hot people, I thought I would go through some of the fetishes and terminology so that some who live in a vanilla world wont be caught unawares. I wouldn't want you to inadvertently agree to scat without knowing that you better have your Hepatitis shots first. So below I compiled a short list of some of the more common ones, and some I hope you never encounter. Beware, the list contains graphic material and should not be viewed by children, nuns, or anyone with a weak continence. Also, if you have eaten in the last 30 minutes wait and read this later.

Vanilla - I used this word above. It's not really a fetish, but more a lack of fetishes. This is how you describe regular old sex (which can be fun too).

S&M - Be cautious with this one. S&M means sadism and masochism, as in those who enjoy inflicting pain, and those who like being hurt. If you're going to partake in this one, you should always make sure you have a safety word. This is cause S&M is the one place where "no" doesn't mean no. But you can't use "frog" cause I claimed it long ago. (I have a word, but NO S&M is not one of my fetishes.

Bondage - This one is often associated with S&M, but really its totally seperate. Bondage is just like what it sounds...you like to tie people up or be tied up. This often can involve blindfolds as well, but not always. Its usually arousing to people b/c you either have total control or none at all. Do not however mistake it with domination.

Domination/submission - This one is actually very complex and goes by many names. If you've ever seen old pictures of Betty Paige (the first porn star), she was often dressed as a dominatrix. This fetish usually involves one person having total emotional control and can often include insults and activities such as licking boots, etc. There is also a sub group of this where some submissive people act like dogs, and even have collars and leashes.

Water Sports - OK, first thing to know...this has NOTHING to do with water. I made that mistake once and accidentally told someone I liked this. Water sports involves urine. Most often someone peeing on someone else. It's most commonly done in the shower simply b/c of clean up issues, but some people purposely buy lofts with hardwood floors so they can just mop it up.

Scat - I don't wanna go into too much detail, but its essentially like water sports, but with solid wastes. They make rubber sheets for beds so that you can partake in this without messing up too much.

Feet - Also a very complex fetish. People with a foot fetish can range from those who like foot massages to sucking on toes to those who need contact with a foot to climax. There are foot "tops" and "bottoms" also. A top likes to play with feet, a bottom likes their feet played with. In my mind this is a harmless fetish, but I know some people that are grossed out by feet.

Leather - I'm not sure how pervasive this one is with the straight folks, but there is a whole community within the gay community thats into leather. They have their own bars and sex parties and everything. This fetish usually involves the wearing of leather, most often as an X harness, or collars, or leather underwear, or chaps. It's also often associated with sex in a sling (made of leather). If you wish to know more about this one feel free to ask. I don't own any leather (its expensive), but there are some guys I think look damn sexy in it.

Roleplaying/uniforms - This one is common among most everybody. Roleplaying is essentially where you dress in costume and pretend to be someone else and act out a scene. Picture you and your partner acting out one of those cheesy scenes from a porn where the UPS man comes in to deliver his package and you got it. Uniforms is an overarching one that encompasses roleplaying, but also just generally involves liking people to dress in some kind of uniform - military, police, fire, UPS, and pilot are some of the most common.

Fisting - Yup, I put it on here. If somehow you've never heard of this, most likely in a joke (especially if you like Margaret Cho), this involves someone putting their fist in an orafice. For women its generally into the vagina, for guys its normally in the rear end. I dont recommend this one, but if you're into it, go for it I guess. Most people who do this one a lot will have the person whose fist is being used put on a special glove that goes up your arm (its used by large animal vets). There can be medical issues for men b/c this activity can stretch the booty out so much you lose bowel control. (Hope you weren't eating.)

Rimming - This one isnt really a fetish, but is necessary to know for the next one. Rimming is essentially the act of licking someone's booty. If you're gonna do this one make sure the booty is clean. Beginners often will only do it after the person has taken a shower.

Feltching - Now this is a less commonly known one...and for good reason. I saw it in a porn once, and talk about lose an erection in a heartbeat. It was not sexy at all. Feltching is a combination of rimming and semen. With gay guys it involves unprotected anal sex (rarely a good thing) and then climaxing inside the person. Then the bottom pushes the semen out while the top gets below and eats it as it comes out. It can be done with women too, but I will leave it to your imagination to figure out how.

Well if you made it all the way down here I'm impressed. In case you can't tell I'm not phased by much anymore. It's that whole numbness thing I mentioned that causes me to notice a porn stars shoes. Now this is by no means an exhaustive list, but if you have tried all these...well you one kinky mo fo. Myself, I think I've taken part in 3 if you include vanilla. I'm afraid that while I love sex (with the hot guys of course), some of these things scare me. So now as you go off for Spring Break you will know to run if someone asks if you're into feltching. Enjoy!

Bisexuality. This year's black?

So this past weekend I was watching a super cheesy movie on Starz called Camp. Now let me tell you how disappointed I was to learn that this movie was not the gay classic movie by the same name, but was instead an after school special type movie about a group of outcast high school students who go to thespian camp every summer to feel normal. (Dont try to watch tv on a saturday night or you will be subjected to such things) Though I could make fun of such a plot for hours on end, I shall refrain for once. Now there was a male character in this movie, who I curiously found attractive despite him being totally out of any age range I would ever date, who had OCD and liked to please people. Well like all thespian summer camps this one had a gay guy at it (how there was just ONE I don't know) who found said OCD guy cute. Well in order for gay guy to like him the OCD guy flirted with him and even stripped naked once (damn, maybe I should have gone to thespian camps in high school instead of playing football...or maybe not). This other girl in this cheesy movie got mad-she liked the OCD guy too- and made the wild statement that there was no such thing as bisexuality. Now imagine my shock to hear such a declaratory statement from a high school thespian. I mean, at my high school all the thespians were bisexual. But this got me to thinking, and I decided to share my view of bisexuality, and indeed sexuality in general.
Now the common knowledge says there are 3 sexual preferences-heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality. Since there are only two genders that I'm aware of(we shall leave out the complexities involved with the transgendered here) this would seem to cover all the bases (we shall also not address things like bestiality which might add a 3rd type). Most people have long considered people to fall into one of these three categories, but I simply don't think sexuality is quite that simple.
So I have an alternative view, that I've found some people like, and others are somewhat afraid of. I see sexuality not as 3 distinct pigeon-hole categories, but more as a spectrum along which people fall. At one end is complete heterosexuality and at the other is complete homosexuality. Now this is just me, but I don't think many people actually fall at precisely those points. Instead I think most people fall in between the two. Now I would agree that if you put dots on the line they would probably be clumped towards the ends, but I think just maybe everyone is a little bit bisexual, whether they ever act on it or not.
Now before you get all upset, this is meant only to reflect sexual preferences, not who you love. And I also don't think your actions necessarily determine where you fall. I'm from the school of thought that thinks just b/c a guy has sex with a guy, it doesn't necessarily make him gay. Many of us experiment at one point in our lives. To me it's more what's going on in your head. For myself, I think I prolly fall pretty close to the homosexual side as I do pay more attention to men, but I don't find women unattractive, and I am not totally opposed to the idea of sexual relations with a woman. Women just make it so much harder than men, especially since I'm not interested in dating a woman. I mean, I would NEVER be able to plan my own wedding if I married a woman, and I just can't have that. Hmm, unless I dated a lesbian maybe....
That's a somewhat crude summary of what in my head seems like a complex idea, but I tried. If you disagree I respect that, although I can't fathom how someone would think bisexuality doesn't exist at all, especially a thespian. After all, under my theory everyone is sorta bisexual, just to different degrees. Now I ask that any comments you leave be kind. This is just my opinion, and I shall never claim it as the absolute truth, so comment accordingly. Until next time!

Gay Porn and Gold Bond

Now the two things in the title are totally unrelated, but I thought I would throw them both in the same post. I will start with the Gold Bond.
So if you follow this blog you know of the dipping that occurs at the friday night poker game (scroll down and read before proceeding). Well I was discussing this with one of the participants in the game when another habit of the game arose. One that when I heard my mouth just dropped from the shock and oddness of it. So it seems that some of these guys have a thing for Gold Bond. Now that in and of itself is no big deal. Many guys use it and Ive been told it feels like there is a constant breeze in your shorts since its medicated powder (its made to treat jock itch). But it seems that at the poker game, some of the guys when they run out of money kinda mill around...and then wander into the other room, undo their pants and proceed to apply Gold Bond to their balls. (Pause for dramtice effect) Ok, so I hope I don't have to tell you that this is odd. And I know that my thinking its odd has nothing to do with sexuality either. I played football in high school, and was in a fraternity in college so Ive known plenty of straight men. And most of them dont open their pants and apply powder to their genitals while hanging out with their friends. This makes me wonder how many of the law school guys have had homoerotic experiences, especially if they think that is normal. A survey that was taken did say that half of all men will have some sort of homoerotic experience in their life. So just by the odds some of them probably have. Oh if only I could read minds.
Now with that image in your head let's move on to gay porn. (Hmm, maybe the two topics aren't as unrelated as I thought) So I was reading Iowa Law Girl's blog where she had a post about a conversation she had with other law school folks on porn. Apparently there were questions about the value of porn and whether it was inherantly bad or such. Now though the comments were all constructive, they were all by straight people. So I thought I would throw in a gay word or two. I am somewhat of a self proclaimed expert on gay porn. While I cannot afford it (most videos from the good studios run around $60 each), I do read a magazine called Unzipped, and know who most of the big stars and studios are.(I would be great if there was a gay porn category on Jeapordy!) Unzipped is a magazine pretty much about the gay porn industry, and so I find it fascinating. Especially when they talk to porn stars. And I gotta say, most seem like regular guys. No signs of molestation or psychological disorders. Now I do think gay porn is probably different in that men like to have sex. Pretty much all the time. So give one an exhibitionist streak and why on earth wouldn't you want to get paid to have sex with hot men? So long as you don't have any designs on politics of course.
I am beginning to wonder if I've become desentitized to porn though. One of the last times I watched it, of all things I noticed the shoes one of the guys had on. They were an awesome pair of Diesels that I must admit I searched for after. They are from like 3 seasons ago though, so no luck. I should write the porn studio and see if they still have them. You woulda thought I was paying attention to endowments or the sweaty sex, but no...i wanted his shoes. But anyways, in case you can't tell I think the porn industry is great. Well the gay one anyways. But then they take care of their stars way better (they pay better and require HIV tests before every movie and require condoms always). Hmm, and people wonder why some straight men will do gay porn. So in conclusion, everyone should just watch gay porn. The men are hotter and no women are harmed in the making.

R.I.P. Marshall Field's

Ok everyone. Before you read any further you better grab a kleenex or ten, cause this one is just so tragic that the tears are gonna pour fourth. I mean its like the Roman Empire fell all over again. Ok, now that you have your kleenex and hopefully you are sitting down I must break the news to you....Marshall Field's is dieing. Yes, I know I can hardly speak for the sobs, but the reign of the great store is coming to an end.
For those that don't read the paper, especially the Chicago Tribune like me, you may not have noticed that Federated Department Stores, owners of the ever popular Macy's and Bloomingdale's stores, have just made a deal to buy May Company. Now 3 years ago this would have mattered little to me, as I don't think Ive ever stepped foot inside a Lord & Taylor. But alas 3 years ago the ever wonderful Target Co. sold Marshall Field's to the May Company after overhauling it and making it the great store that it is today. So now Federated will own all the Marshall Field's, and whats even worse...they say they want to turn them all into Macy's. I shall pause now so you can let out the grief and emotions.
The only ray of light in this sad moment is that the fate of the Marshall Field's flagship on State Street in Chicago is as of yet undetermined. If you have ever been a tourist in Chicago like myself, you may have noticed that the State Street Marshall Field's is on an architechural tour that explores the ever famous Tiffany glass. To think that the name Macy's would slander such great work. Well it's just too much.
Now I consider myself a fairly impartial observer when it comes to Marshall Field's and Macy's. Neither store is very big in Houston, where I'm from. There is exactly one Macy's and zero Marshall Field's so I had never had strong feeling about either one. Until I ventured to Minneapolis and wandered into the Marshall Field's downtown and drooled. I instantly fell in love with Thomas Pink and began dreaming of the day when I could afford the ever so luxurious line of clothes. Not to mention the Jack Spade (of which I am now a proud owner), Burberry, Tumi, Dolce and Gabbana, Diesel, G-Star Raw, Sevens, etc. When I walked through I must say I had never seen so many brands of jeans over $100/pair in one place. Well at least not so many that I liked. Sure Niemen's and Saks have such clothes, but they are usually ugly and made for people that weigh 10 pounds. Now Marshall Field's carries FCUK, but I decided not to hold that against them. The entire store made me dream of a day when I had a nice income and could afford to actually buy something. And since then I have held that as one of my goals. And now it has been stripped away from me by Macy's. A store that perhaps with the exception of its Manhatten flagship, simply cannot compete with Marshall Field's. The only brand Macy's carries that I like is H.
So for me this is a sad day, when a 150 year old giant, newly refashioned by the ever hip Target, shall be destroyed by the ever so beige Macy's. My only hope is that they keep Thomas Pink, so at least a tiny piece of my dream can stay alive. So R.I.P. Marshall Field's...we shall remember you as the dream that almost was.