Las Drogas

Pardon my spanish if I didn't manage to spell that correctly. It has been awhile since I studied the words for things you find in a pharmacy. Anyways, it has been some time since I have added anything to this blog, but something has been knawing away at me and I need a place to vent. That something is drugs. Don't worry, there is no need for an intervention, I am not using drugs. My problem is with someone else who is using...or at least isn't opposed to the idea.
First some back story. I have long had a rule that I wouldn't date anyone who used drugs. They are not something I am interested and I am uncomfortable even being around them most of the time. Back in college I got up and walked out of people's houses a couple times for dragging out their bong (yes, I consider marijuana to be a drug). I have since mellowed a little bit and have the philosophy that what you do on your own time is none of my business, but when I am around I ask that you not bring out the drugs. I consider this a pretty reasonable stance personally, but it only applies to friends. A bf or someone I date is an entirely different story. That is someone you spend a great deal of your time with, so to ask them not to use in your presence can lead to them hiding it from you among other things. And honestly I have found is the most important of the pillars of a relationship. So for me I have always required someone to not use. But now I am dating someone who breaks that mold. He doesn't habitually use by any means, but he isn't against using recreationally when out with friends. He crosses most of the hard drugs off his list thankfully like heroin or crack or most thankfully meth, but from time to time he has been known to take X or shrooms and he isn't against the occasional bump of coke. Now to his credit even these are extremely rare indulgences he generally reserves for fun vacations elsewhere, but even this level bothers me. Here is a great man, very intelligent, attractive, successful, with great friends and whom I enjoy spending time with...who breaks one of my most fundamental rules of dating. And so I face a great dilemma. Do I throw all the other good away because of this flaw? Or do I overlook the flaw even though I am not sure I can ever become comfortable with it? He has agreed to not use when around me, but won't agree to never use again. I am fine with this in part since I would never want someone not to use because of me. It has to be fueled by their own desire to truly ever work. But I have imagined this scenario where down the road his friends will come to realize he won't use when I am around, and so they will plan trips and outings and invite only him and not me, thus driving a wedge into the relationship. I'm not sure if this is overreacting, but I don't think it is all that far fetched. How many couples do you know where the friends of one think the other is a bore? So this is the dilemma I face at the present. I am sure others have bigger problems (like my upstairs neighbors, but thats another story), but this is my biggest one at the moment.