The Law Can Be Beautiful Too

So as anyone who knows me certainly is aware, I think the law school building at the University of Iowa is ugly. I just can't help it. Concrete walls and useless domes and light colored wood just don't do it for me. Once upon a time I actually liked the building. But I realize now that that was simply because I had just come from the University of Illinois law school the day before, and its even worse. One of those ugly box things from the 1970s, the decade that architecture died. But at least they were aware of the problem and had plans underway to remodel their building.
Now since I complain about the building so much, I thought I would offer some advice, from this gay man to the law school administration on how to make the building better. First let's begin with the shape of the building. I've been told that it was designed as part of a series of buildings, and that our building is supposed to look like a missile silo. Well man did we get screwed. Perhaps were we the College of Rocket Science it would have been clever, but we aren't. While I'm certainly not advocating making a building in the shape of a gavel or a prison, a missile silo is simply inappropriate. I don't object entirely to the dome, but I do object to the fact that it serves no purpose. I think a major improvement would be to finish the interior of the dome and carve out an atrium through all the floors below it. That way you could stand on the ground floor and look up at the dome. Now that would be a cool law school. Maybe stick a couple little windows in it to let in some light.
Next up comes the French man in the front. When he left to be refinished I was a little bit excited inside. Not because I think he is ugly or anything, but again b/c I think he is inappropriate for the law school. He should be moved to the Pentacrest or some such place and replaced with something else. Maybe have a contest with the art department to see who can come up with the best statue for there. Or maybe put in a fountain you could sit around. Just make sure the smokers don't throw their butts in the water. While that wouldn't get rid of the drab greyness of the building, its prolly the best I can do without knocking down walls and such.
Now the inside has one major problem. Ok, well more than one, but one that really bugs me. It is covered in light woods like it walked out of an Ikea catalog. And while I actually like Ikea a lot for home furnishings...it isn't really appropriate for a law school. When people come in those doors you want them to think its a place of power and wealth. And Ikea does not really embody those traits. Now cherry wood...that's power and wealth. I would not, however, put it up in the little slats along the wall. I think it best if we put cherry paneling about halfway up all the walls, and then paint the remaining portion. Which of course means the grey seating and grey carpet has to go. As nice as beige would look, its not really realistic for such high traffic areas, so how about green? Or one of those office building blend carpets. I dont have a sample book sitting here so just work with me. Now the seating in the lobby is an interesting dilemma. I say we get little cube tables like you see at Pottery Barn in cherry wood, and then put in maroon leather benches. Surely the tables need not be attached to the ground and carpeted. The clear plastic display of alumni ackomplishments has also got to go. Its really just ugly. A better tribute should be devised and placed somewhere else. And the professor portraits? Gone. Unless your name is on the front of the building(one of them is) or you founded the school, no portrait for you. Or they can move them up to the fourth floor so the professors can stare at them all day.
While this wouldn't solve all the design crises going on in the law school, it would certainly help. So if the law school would like to retain my services, I would be glad to redesign things. Please. I dont cost anywhere near what an outsider would be and I would enjoy every minute of it. So this was your design minute with Brian.