Ugly Men Shouldn't Be Naked

Why is it that the only guys who walk around totally naked in the locker room at the gym are the old, gross, fat guys? It seems to be a universal fact. I walked into the gym yesterday and went to the locker room to change only to be confronted with this overweight black guy who was just standing there totally naked for no good reason. He wasn’t changing clothes or anything. He had taken a shower, but now was just standing in front of his locker naked. It was almost like he was air drying. I don’t know about anyone else there, but I had no desire whatsoever to see what had to show. And this is not exclusive to London by any means. Back when I went to a gym in the suburb of Sugar Land, Texas these 50 something year old men would take a shower and then walk around the locker room totally naked. They would even greet each other and have full on conversations while standing there naked. Now I applaud anyone who is comfortable with their body, and so I am happy that they are confident in the way they look naked, but that doesn’t mean people other than their spouse needs to see it. And on the flip side of the coin, why don’t the hot guys do this? I would certainly enjoy it if the really hot guys walked around totally naked but they don’t. Now I must admit that a couple weeks ago this guy with a spectacular body did strip right in front of me, but I think he may have been gay in which case maybe he was trying to pick someone up. I would have stared but he was maybe 4 feet from me so there is no discrete way to look at someone that close to you. And I am sensitive to the straight men who are freaked out that they might get looked at by a gay man in the locker room so I try to be discrete when I look. But anyways, if I am going to have to put up with the old ones (and I don’t see them changing their ways simply because I don’t like them) then I think I should at least get some very hot ones to balance it out. I would be willing to put up with the bad if I got enough good as well.
In other news, last night the Arsenal v. Real Madrid game was on tv. For those who aren’t soccer fans (I’m with you, rugby is so much better – I’m going to a game this weekend) Real Madrid is the obviously Spanish team that David Beckham plays for which is now officially the one that makes the most money in the world. Arsenal is a northern London team that has a pretty good record, although they do get somewhat overshadowed by historic Chelsea and Manchester United. Anyways these two teams were playing in a special game, and at the beginning the commentators noted something that struck me as very odd. Between the two teams there were only two Brits starting, and one of them was David Beckham. How crazy that a team based in northern London only has one actually British starter. Apparently there are some Americans who play for this team as well, but I have to say its hard to see this as a UK v. Spain game when there are hardly any Brits playing. Now I know this isn’t the World Cup, so the teams aren’t actually the English team v. the Spanish team, because David Beckham actually is on the England team, but still. Can you imagine if most of the Yankees/Cubs/White Sox/Astros/pick your sports team came from other countries? While its true there are many Dominican players and now even a couple Japanese players, the vast majority of all American baseball and football players are in fact American. Perhaps we don’t have this because we don’t participate in very many world team sports. We play football, basketball, and baseball – all three of which are uniquely American. Only a handful of other nations have baseball or basketball teams, and we all know how successful the European Football League is, and we don’t actually play any of those teams in anything except the Olympics (and that’s just for basketball. Why would the IOC allow baseball or American football as events when we are the only ones who really play them?). Maybe it is time the US started playing the world’s games. I would be all in favor of a US Rugby league. Maybe then when the US team played in the Sevens tournament they would actually score points against England instead of getting slaughtered like they did in L.A. a week ago. I have to say rugby is one of the most fun sports to watch I have ever seen. So how about we get a good team and try to get ourselves into the 6 nation tournament. Hmm, 7 nation tournament, that has a nice ring to it.