Nasty biscuits

So I was grocery shopping yesterday and wandered into the chip section (which are labeled as biscuits which can be quite confusing at times) when I noticed the familiar Lay's logo. Well I was surprised when it had a different name, but I had seen regional names before so the surprise was only momentary. That is, until I read the flavors. As Americans we are used to the original, and BBQ, and Sour Cream & Onion, Salt & Vinegar, etc. Well not these chips. None of the familiar varieties were present. There was a four cheese and chive one that I picked up, and a Thai Chilli (yes it had two "l"s). But the two next to it shocked me in their grotesqueniss(no idea if that is a word). There was a chicken flavor and get this, and a lamb flavor. The only food I know that is flavored like that would be dog food. Otherwise when I taste chicken I am actually eating a piece of chicken.
In other news I am continuing my undercover role as a straight man. We even had a conversation about a couple gay professors at Florida and a random one about lesbians (it seems one of the two hot guys dated a lesbian for four years). Thus far no one has said anything, which seems so odd to me because I dont think I act like the typical straight guy. Perhaps they are just being polite and not saying anything. We are all going out drinking tonight for some girls birthday I think so perhaps I shall spill the beans.
I am also due for a haircut (its all so shaggy and nonfabulous looking) so we shall see if I can find a place that will have any idea what I am talking about when I say to use a 3 guard. Perhaps their is an international language of hairstylists. I seriously feel there was something else I wanted to mention, but it has escaped me, so for now thats all.